I had a discussion with Jen the other day about how working out helps with anxiety and depression. I couldn't agree more. When I got home from a weekend of eating, drinking, and being merry in Pennsylvania (and not a single workout in sight), it was a little rough to get back into the routine. Day two of being back, eating right, exercising, and sleeping right, and I found myself standing at the kitchen sink with a protein shake in my hand, grinning like an idiot. I was so happy to be back to my routine that I actually chuckled to myself.
I've been asked why I push myself so hard, and until that moment, never really had a completely clear answer. Yes, of course I like to see how fast a runner I can become, how strong I can become, and how much I can appreciate what my body is capable of, and yes- how my body looks too. But more than that, I am far more happy and less stressed when I am working out regularly and eating right. It means the difference between a complete breakdown and just being able to push through the stressful situations.
It absolutely sucks trying to get myself out the door for a workout. Two years ago, Jen watched me lace up my running shoes while whining about not wanting to go.
"But you're still lacing up your shoes" she pointed out.
Yes. Yes I was. Because of routine. I know I've said it a hundred times, but routine is absolutely amazing. Routine gets me out the door a thousand times more than motivation does. In the morning the only motivation I have is to get myself a cup of coffee and bring it back to bed.
This morning I whimpered and whined while getting dressed to go run. I tried not to remind myself that it was going to be a hard run. One mile warm up, 6 one mile repeats with a minute rest in between, aiming for 7:15 each, then a mile cool down. Eight miles total, 6 of them at 80-90% effort.
I got changed and went through my plank routine. Five minutes straight with no rest: two minutes regular plank, one minute on each side, and one minute supine plank. I did my dynamic stretch routine and set my Garmin in the window to collect satellites. It beeped and vibrated on the windowsill to tell me it was time to go. I grumbled as I wrapped it around my wrist, grabbed my water bottle and headed out the door.
As I ran past Sam's BBQ and smelled the meat in the smoker, I wondered why on earth I run. My stride felt off and my water bottle felt heavy. The first few repeats were miserable, but then I turned and headed home. I realized how hard it is to stress about your thesis and looming internship that you feel entirely unprepared for when you feel like you can't even catch your breath.
By the way, nothing makes you appreciate breathing more than having experienced not being able to breathe. It didn't get that bad today, but I've been there. It is allergy season, however, and breathing is sorta miserable, even doped up on all my allergy meds, sprays and inhalers and such. What thesis? What computer code? Side cramps and wheezing will cure those ills any day.
Steve Prefontaine once said "Don't let fatigue make a coward of you". I'm not certain that Pre ever ran a marathon, but that's not the point. He was a bold runner who ran the mile in 3:54.6, as well as six miles in 26 minutes. Among other things. 26 minutes! I can run a little over three miles in that time. Geezo.
I pushed a little harder my last couple of repeats, enjoyed my 1 mile cool down, drank some water, drank my protein shake, showered and got some thesis stuff accomplished.
Without my routine, I would probably curl up on the floor and cry- buried under the weight of my to-do list. Frustration would get the best of me. But pushing through physical discomfort and lack of motivation has spilled benefits over into my non-athletic aspects of life. Finals week is like the last 5 miles of a marathon when you feel like you can't go on any longer, but you keep going simply because you are not done. Stress of being overwhelmed in everyday life is like the first 5 miles of a marathon, when you realized what you've just signed up for and how much further you have to go. Burdens are like the squat bar when you unrack it and feel the weight on your shoulders and through your spine and you realize as you squat down until your butt nearly touches the floor, that somehow...you're going to have to gather the strength to stand back up.
And as you lift heavier weights, and run faster repeats, and run longer miles or steeper hills, you also carry heavier burdens with less fatigue, take on greater challenges in school and life, ace that exam, nail the job interview. All because you learned how to push when you really didn't want to.
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