Family

Many years ago, I cut a number of my relatives out of my life. When people asked about my family and learned what I had done, I got a lot of grief about it. Many people admonished me and told me how important family was. Those people generally did not know what those family members had put me through.

"It doesn't matter, they're still family".

For years I wondered. And for years I built up a new family around me. Some family I had been born into, some I had been (not legally-- or illegally for that matter) adopted into, some were friends that became more than friends (family), some were unofficial "step-family". But all family.

And as the years went on, I realized how incredibly important family really is. But I think a lot of people don't realize that family is not necessarily those that share a bloodline or genetic traits. Family consists of those who build you up, support you, love you, teach you, learn from you, and deserve your love, support, and attention in return. Family does not tear you down, poison your soul, nor feed on you like wolves.

Yes, you do choose your family. And your health and well being depend on you making very wise choices with who you decide are your family. Even in the most recent years, my family has grown. Even in the past couple of days, my family has grown. Every day I am more and more aware of the truly beautiful people I have in my life. It is honestly stunning and breathtaking.

It can also be heartbreaking.

Maybe it's my age. Maybe it's my life experiences. Maybe it's the wisdom of people around me. But I am more and more aware of the very finite nature of life. Even as I enjoy the company and laughter of my loved ones, I consider how quickly that can all be taken away. And I am instantly grateful that I am there, sharing that moment, trying to hold on to every second of the experience.

My family has taught me this. My family has taught me that the things we view as "little things" are not so little at all. Showing up to a birthday, wedding, graduation; meeting for coffee or lunch, a phone call, a letter. Those are big things. Those are important things.

Do I have any regrets or remorse about cutting out certain family members from my life? Absolutely not. Clearing out that wasted space made room for some incredibly beautiful relationships that I will cherish for as long as I live. Because they are family.

Take the time to be with your family, whatever that family may be. And do not feel obligated to hold on to "family" that does not brighten your soul.