Yet another flight

Today I got a lecture from an elderly lady on my flight from San Diego to San Francisco. I'm all for sage advice- I believe that life experiences are what really make you wise, but at the same time I believe that everyone should respect other people's choices and their personal space. Some of you already know what I mean by space. My own personal bubble is smaller than those of others and I get extremely uncomfortable when some one invades that space.

When I get on an airplane, I'm already placed in a crowded situation and probably attempting to recover from the crowds inside the airport. I really shut down, socially. I don't want to talk to anyone and I certainly don't want anyone to talk to me. I just want to be left alone. I think what really exacerbates it is that when on a plane my personal bubble is violated to a large degree. I wouldn't want to invite any friendliness from my neighbor and cause them to further intrude on my space.

I once again forgot to check in online so I was forced to sit in the middle... again. This is a pattern for me. My last 6 flights have had me sitting in the middle. You'd think I'd learn. There was a nice young lady sitting by the window who didn't look like she wanted to be bothered so I figured it was safe to sit by her because she then would not bother me. In the aisle seat was a 94 year old woman (she made sure to tell everyone that). They were both rather thin and neither looked aggressive enough to hog the arm rest. So I crawled over the old lady (she didn't want to get up) and sat down.

I was right about the arm rest. Each one of us kept our arms down at our sides and off of them. I was tempted to put my arms up on at least one of the arm rests but felt like a hulk attempting to do it. Geez, I can't win. Let me just get one thing straight before I go on. I did not fly up here as a tourist or on vacation. I'm up here to see if my surgery indeed went as well as we all hope and to also have another minor surgery to get my fistula removed from my wrist. Not something I wanted to really focus on. I took out a magazine to keep myself from thinking about it. I didn't want to look at or talk to either of the ladies next to me.

While the elderly lady flirted with the flight attendant the lady by the window fell asleep. I kept getting this odd feeling that the elderly woman was going to try to talk to me. I was getting this vibe from her that she really wanted to tell me something. I figured if I just kept reading she would leave me alone. Yeah, I left my headphones in my carry-on. Then I finished the magazine so I dug around in the seat pocket and found the Spirit magazine that Southwest puts out and thumbed through that until we landed. Right before we landed the flight attendant gave the old lady a gin- straight up on the rocks. I just wanted to get out of there without being dragged into an awkward conversation. After we landed, I thought I had made it home free. No such luck.

She says to me, "I'd like to say something to you but I don't want it to ruin your day". Really, with an opener like that my own wise advice would be that if you think it's going to ruin some one's day and it's not a life or death matter- let it go, keep it to yourself, don't open your mouth. Now, at that second I could have still saved myself by pointing this out to her. But the nice person inside me that likes to avoid conflict and offending anyone said (in a sweet, good-girl tone) "No, go ahead". So she procedes to tell me how throughout the whole flight she kept waiting for me to put down that silly magazine and look out the window at all the world has to offer. By this time the girl sitting by the window is awake and listening to the lecture. She continues on that she's not lecturing me, but she couldn't understand why I kept my head down and didn't even once look out the window and how I wasted my chance at really getting something out of every moment in life. I mean, she's 94 years old and she still sees the world in such awe and wonder. She's also going to SF for some party thing with important people and got a free gin on the rocks from the flight attendant.

I told her that I fly several times a month and that on this flight I would really just prefer a distraction. She couldn't understand why and I didn't want to get into it. So she continued to tell me how I'm not opening my eyes to the world and I'm missing an opportunity and how she just wished I would've put down the darn magazines. What on earth was I thinking? So I mentioned how I was not at the window seat and I didn't find it necessary to lean over my neighbor to stare out the window (it's just eerie really). The lady commented back that maybe had I done that I could've struck up a good conversation with my neighbor at the window. I looked over and my other neighbor gave me a thin smile that just said "Don't even drag me into this". I almost told the lady that that's exactly what I was attempting to avoid in the first place. She kept saying she hoped she didn't ruin my day, but then would admonish me again in that tone that implies that I'm some ungrateful young whippersnapper who really needs to open her eyes and drop the silly frivolous magazines. I tried pointing out that I love to read and so that's why I was reading the magazine. She didn't accept that as an excuse.

God forbid some one want something different than what you think is right. I think I put this quote in an earlier blog, but I'm going to post it again since it's so relevent. People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. ~H. Jackson Browne

When I got off the plane I was tempted to find a stiff drink at a bar some where but I figured it wouldn't help me find my way to my hotel at all. I definately regret walking away from that box of Ghiradelli chocolates at Walgreens a couple hours ago. And no, my day wasn't ruined but let me point out one more thing. We all see people all around us that look unhappy or stressed or busy. Before you go and judge them (and god-forbid tell them something stupid like they have no right to be upset) remind yourself that you really have no clue what that person is going through at the moment so you really don't have a right to open your mouth. Not only that, but I do believe that I take in quite a bit of what this world has to offer. Like all the poor homeless people that are out on the streets here begging for spare change and sleeping in the cold. But that's a whole 'nother blog.