Gorillas and Drowning

I've really done it to myself this time.

I tend to take on a lot, and for the past several semesters, I have completely overwhelmed myself. But I made it through each and every one of them with very little permanent damage to my psyche as well as my soul.

Not this semester. This semester is going to leave a mark. As if I had not been taking on enough in previous semesters, I am now taking on two part time jobs on top of an already crazy load. I am teaching an undergraduate class and I am working remotely as a meteorologist intern.

This morning as I was warming up on the stationary bike at the gym, my mind was wandering to all my stressors- everything I am not caught up on, homework to grade, why the average grade on my class's first quiz was 52%, how I had no clean laundry and no pre-made food at home. A couple of my friends suggest breaks at times like this. This makes no sense to me. I am falling behind day by day. What is taking a break going to accomplish? Yesterday I worked 12 hours straight: studying, attending class, teaching class. For 12 hours. I made some headway but I did not catch up. And now I have homework to grade.

As I pedaled away, I tried to come up with a motivational quote to keep me from bursting into tears and crawling into a fetal position on the gym floor. The first thing that came to mind was this:

"Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired. You quit when the gorilla gets tired." (Robert Strauss)

I mulled it over for a few seconds. Not bad. I thought about hanging it up in the lab so the other guys could gain some inspiration from it.

But it didn't quite fit. I don't feel like I'm experiencing a violent death (as I presumably would not win a wrestling contest with a gorilla). It's more like a slow death, with equal parts desperation and resignation. More like drowning. I searched my memory bank to see what sort of inspirational quotes I could come up with about drowning.

The first thing (only thing) that came to my mind was something from my swimming days (because swim practice is a lot like drowning). It must've been a Speedo or Nike ad.

"They say you can drown in just an inch of water. If you fell the right way. Face down, unconscious."......

I couldn't remember how the rest went. I'm sure it ends well, otherwise it wouldn't have been an inspirational ad for sporting equipment. I chuckled to myself. The quote kept repeating in my head throughout my workout. People must've thought I was crazy.

A Google search for that quote returned some disturbing results. None of which were what I was looking for.

So I think it goes something like this (for those of you wishing for a happy ending):

"They say you can drown in just an inch of water, if you fell the right way. Face down, unconscious. One minute seems to last forever. But then you reach for the wall."

Talking about a swimming race- how it seems to take forever (and you feel like you might actually drown), but then it's over. And hopefully you didn't drown in the process.

Well. Anyway. I need to get back to work.