I had a dream the other night that I was staring up at the stars and could see the galaxies much like the pictures from outer space. I study and watch shows about science and contemplate black holes, worm holes, the flexibility of the space-time fabric, and wonder what's on the other side.
Trying to wrap my mind around the concept of time itself, my mind wanders to the faces of those I've lost and I'm maddened by the inability to grasp that I have lost them forever. I don't understand where they go and how it could be that my life that is defined so much by those who raised me, cared for me, loved me, could ever be without them.
One day they are just...gone. Gone is a word that demands an explanation-gone where? For how long? But just gone- by itself- is like staring into that mysterious black hole, longing to understand. Gone. In the most concrete and undeniable sense of the word.
And I think about how, one day, I will too go out into that void and it is both terrifying and not. Terrifying because this is what I know. My body is programmed to live at all costs-and it doesn't know what it is to simply shut down. Not terrifying- because that's what we do. We close our eyes and slip away and leave no clues as to our whereabouts. One day we are born, we experience this life for a time, and then, we are gone. And it's ok, it's natural.
Would life be so precious if we all lived forever?
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