2am

It's 2 in the morning on Sunday and I've been awakened by a crowd of I'd say about 4-5 drunk people by the sound of it. My bedroom shares a wall with the kitchen which is a popular hangout for those returning home from the bars. The walls are very thin and the kitchen has a way of bringing out the echo in every little sound, especially if no one is trying to be quiet, everything is funny (as is often the case with drunk people) and some one is trying to cook.

The night before, a wave of people came in at 11:45 pm and proceeded to have an argument over how to run the extremely loud dishwasher, so they kept slamming down the industrial crank, letting it run it's 5 min cycle and then running it again. On the third slam (accentuated by very loud laughing) I decided it was enough. I went into the kitchen and very tactfully declared that people (ok, maybe just me) were trying to sleep. Shortly after, it became quiet and I lay awake until about 2am trying to coax myself back to sleep.

I discussed the situation with a few of the members of the late night party, which is much easier to do when they're sober the next day, however, it doesn't stick with them through the next night after too many drinks. At 1:30am, a group came in and headed directly into the kitchen. One girl tried to boil water but had to pee. After returning, there was plenty of banging around, laughing and talking. I banged on the wall a few times, heard my name mentioned (because even in their drunken state they remembered that there I was, on the other side of the wall, trying desperately to get just one night of quality sleep) followed by laughing and someone saying "ssshhhhhhh!". The cooking, talking and laughing continued. I knocked again. Again the "sshhhhh". A couple minutes later everyone dispersed with the exception of the girl trying to boil water. I lay awake and wished it was 5am so I could get up and start my day and say the hell with any attempt to get back to sleep.

We had our first roll of the season these last 2 weeks and by now I'm pretty sure the whole crew knows that I have insomnia. It was the talk of the assignment. When on the road, we share hotel (yes, hotels...no sleeping on the ground when it's 15 degrees outside) rooms. My roommate did not get the whole gist of it until a couple weeks ago when we snuggled into bed and had "the talk". She already knew that my sleep was often disrupted, I went to bed early and got up early. I'm fortunate to have such an understanding roommate, and a crew that is dry on assignments.

When I snuck around in the dark room at 5am, when our alarms were set for six, she would wake up and tell me to just turn on a light. I'm sure she didn't really mind, but I didn't want to be one of those people that deprived others of sleep. When I was wide awake at 3:30am, I certainly was not going to be that person. I learned to lay out my clothes and key card so I could sneak downstairs at 4am for a cup of coffee and to gather intel on the internet. She finally started setting her alarm for 5am because she knew I'd be up moving around by then.

One morning, I sat up in bed drinking a cup of coffee and heard her alarm go off. It was 5am. She turned it off and lay awake until the second alarm went off, a few minutes later. I asked if she was ready for the light. She turned it on and was shocked to see me sitting up drinking a cup of coffee. She later discussed it with my bathroom mate from back in Black Mountain who declared it "Creepy". It became the joke of the roll that I sat awake in the dark and watched my roommate sleep, perched up like a gargoyle. Not incredibly accurate. It's dark in there, I can't see a whole lot of anything. I just listen to her breathe.

In any case, once everyone is drunk and we're back home and don't have to share rooms (actually some peole do which must suck), people forget that other people have fragile sleep and don't truly understand how that feels. I'm sure from their experience, if some one wakes them up, they just roll over and go back to sleep. If some one wakes me up, I'm up for at least a couple hours if not for the rest of the day. Well, at 1:30am, the rest of the day is a long one.

Now it's 2:30am, the house is quiet except for the occasional movement of furniture upstairs and my stomach is rumbling. I don't know what it wants, maybe some sleep, maybe some food. I can tell right now that sleep is a ways away and it makes me want to take a blanket out to the front porch and curl up in a rocking chair but it may be far too cold for that. I wish people could truly understand what I go through on most nights just to be able to function the next day. I took a nap yesterday which ate up a good portion of my day and today may end up the same. I can't wait until the work week when I can get a decent night's sleep.