My Muse is a Flake.

The morning after our hike/medical evacuation drill, I was feeling rather poetic and could've sat down and written my book based off my anger and irritation alone. I had a stream of notes running through my head while I drove the river road to work and tried to jot them down when I got into the parking lot, but Johnny was already on me to hurry up and get out of the car to unlock the door. I'm always in a forced hurry around the man, drives me nuts. Hurry up the hill, hurry down the hill, hurry to the chow line, hurry to briefing, hurry while driving the buggy on a broken up road in Arizona. By the time I let him in the office and sat down to jot down my ideas, most of them were gone. Now I'm seated in front of my computer, tucked safely into my weekend and I seem to have lost my muse. Damnit. Stupid muse was never that loyal anyway, maybe I should aquire a new one.

Our hike/medical evacuation drill turned into a 5 hour ordeal that had me convinced I needed to quit my job. During the hike down I had quite the conversation with myself. It's hard to tell who won that argument. I think I've figured out that there isn't much I'd be happier spending my life doing than this and that if I want to quit I have to start producing novels, articles and essays that will not only pay the bills, but pay for my travel bug as well.

In front of me are several strips of paper with about 4 different thoughts written out and expanded upon. I sat down this morning with a cup of coffee and tried to write and have managed to choke out 5 sentences. I'm telling you, I could've written for hours that morning but then I would've been late for work. It's definately frustrating. All my best stuff comes out when I don't have the means to record it or write it down.

I've found a literary magazine that might be the right audience for some of my work and the submission period is October 1st -December 31st. Which means now is the best time to get something going. I looked through the material I already had and was disappointed so I'm banking on the random strips of paper in front of me. Ugh. Bring me back my muse!