The sun was shining on the beautiful town of Montague when I decided to suit up and go for a 15 mile bicycle ride around the stunning green pastures that lay surrounded by towering mountains that were still topped off with snow. I was slightly put off by how large the tight shorts made my muffin top look but comforted myself knowing that bike shorts make most muffin tops larger than life.
Three miles out of town I heard a snap and my butt slid to the left. I looked down to see my saddle disconnected from the seat frame (no, not the post). I had a moment of panic as I realized my saddle was now free and my feet were both locked into the pedals. Nice. I calmed myself and sat back onto the saddle and managed to twist a foot out and actually (miraculously) lean to the side of my loose foot.
I chided myself thinking that my muffin top had actually caused the collapse, but on closer inspection decided that maybe the saddle was just never all that together anyway. It's got a steel frame that the pad sits on and the tongue of it was never quite in the pad, but the back spoke thingies were. That explains a lot. I considered the possibility of riding back without the saddle and then pictured a horrible fate similar to that of Frida Kahlo (I won't explain, look it up if you don't know). I managed to rig it back together but decided I should probably turn around to avoid further trouble 5 miles out of town.
I've put some thought and effort into it and I'm not quite sure it's fixable. I'm sure in theory it is, but I can't see a way to get all three ends into their proper place without maming myself. I've already crushed a finger and I'm covered in bicycle grease. Saddles aren't cheap, at least not the good ones. And any ride over 5 miles deserves a good saddle. I think this is just a sign that I should stay in my pj's for the rest of the day.
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