Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Laundromat Chronicles

This story starts on a brisk and windy Halloween evening, a couple hours before dark. Freaks and goblins were already out and about but I blame that on three things: it was Halloween, it was Yreka, and I was at the Laundromat.
As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw a tall skinny man with two dogs starting to come toward my vehicle. As I got out, he approached me and asked for money, stating that he was homeless. I'm definately one to give money to homeless people, but not when I'm in a position where I would have to open my purse and wallet. If the money is in my pocket and in easy reach, it's not that big of a deal. I told him sorry, I couldn't. He pressed me for a just a little bit, whatever I could spare. I told him no, I'm sorry again, and went to the other side of my vehicle. I went inside and put my laundry in the washing machine and went back to my car to take out the recycling. Watching for the man again, I walked across the parking lot to the recycling bins. After sorting it all out, I returned to my laundry to wait for the time to put it in the dryer. Normally I take off and come back in 20 minutes to switch it out. I didn't this time because I figured it wouldn't take very long and I could get it all done as soon as possible.
Some of you are aware of my stalker from the gym. He hasn't been very successful at stalking me since he called my work looking for me and they told him they didn't know who I was. He got my name wrong anyway. So there I was, choosing a magazine from the table, when a man walked in. It was my gym stalker, low and behold. I pretended I didn't recognize him (because I wasn't totally sure at first). He looked at me and then walked around to the washers and looked at them. He looked back at me. I pretended to read my magazine. He looked at the washers again. I looked up and he looked at me and said "Do you know how much these cost? I mean to run them?". I told him I did not. He walked out. I pretended to continue reading my magazine. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a dark grey extended cab pick-up. Before I could stand up to take a better look or get a license plate number, he was gone.
I figure he was driving by, saw me at the recycling bin and saw me walk into the laundromat. He must have been thinking "That's the girl from the gym!". So he thought he'd get a closer look. He needed some lame excuse so he asked about the cost of the washing machines, hoping to get me to talk. After he left I looked at the machines and they said in huge numbers $2.00- in black, outlined in red. On each and every machine. Red and black, staring him in the face. He knew how much the machines were, he could read. Which unfortunately means that now he might realize what my vehicle looks like.
So I called my good friend, Gwen to let her know what just happened. As I was talking to her, a man in a Dolphins jersey walked in with a cigarette in his mouth, a gun in his hand and a Bank of America zippered pouch in the other. He shook the gun around and said something about a laundry stick up. Then he sort of sauntered out. I went on with my conversation with Gwen. After I got off the phone with her, he came back in and apologized for scaring me. I nodded and said I figured with it being Halloween and all... He said he was working on his new place, he's opening up a pet store right next to the laundromat. I should come there, he'll beat Medford's prices. I told him I didn't have any pets but that I would spread the word. He said his grand opening will be on Veteren's day. His buddy is going to barbeque. There's going to be free food as well as free adult drinks in the back. "Awesome." I said. "Yeah, so tell everyone, bring your friends".
I went to my car to get the dryer sheets and he stood outside his shop, gun still in hand, saying how he's doing his decorating, getting all ready. "How exciting for you." I told him. "Yeah, and we're gonna have like a club in the back, where me and the guys can hang out and stuff. It's gonna have it's own back door... cause sometimes it sucks going to the bar and all. We'll invite the girls sometimes too." Hmm. So there's going to be a petshop next door to the laundromat that has a man cave/night club in the back. Eureka. No, not quite. Yreka. You betcha.
After stuffing my clothes in the dryer, I drove home, taking all sorts of side streets and driving past my place 3 times, just to make sure I wasn't being followed by the gym stalker. I drove past the police station and then back home. On my way home, a cop in front of me lit up some hoodlums that were probably pestering some little kids for their candy. I've got my candy all ready to hand out, but I still have to head back to the laundromat for my clothes. Hopefully they're still there and the gym guy didn't come in and steal my underwear. That would suck.

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