Having two orthodontist appointments and one dentist appointment in one day got me thinking (and exhausted). I've had this thought before, but it's beginning to really sink in. Dentistry and orthodontics are very primative careers.
Look at it this way. Anyone who's seen "Castaway" with Tom Hanks can get my drift quite easily. Tom had no way of getting rid of a painful tooth with the exception of taking a rock or whatever to knock it out. Not entirely different than professional dental work. I had to update my files at my dentist office today and I checked Yes in the box "Do you have a fear of dental work?" Who doesn't?
So I settled into the hygienist's chair where she did a cool scan of my mouth to tell me if I have oral cancer (I don't, yippee). Then she settled into scraping away the plaque from my teeth with a metal hook. Ok, I admit, it's much more advanced than a rock, but still, hasn't society as a whole come further than this? Why can't I just have my teeth lasered clean? She has to scrape away and pick with ancient tools, digging under my gums (ouch!) and fishing around like she's mining for gold. After a good 45 minutes of this, I was sent to my second orthodontist appointment of the day (the first was to remove the wires to allow my dentist to do a thorough cleaning).
Again, pliers and metal hooks are wrenched around in my mouth like a mechanic works on a car. The assistants apologize when an instrument slips and hits my gums or my lip gets trapped in the wire as they're putting it back into the brackets. Then rubber bands are fastened around my teeth to help move them around. Are we so archaic that we use pliers and rubber bands to fix our precious teeth?
It's also interesting to see the visual displays the dentists put up to help calm the patient. Now on the ceiling of my dental office is an ad for teeth whitener. It doesn't change. It's just a lady laying in the grass smiling with perfect teeth as well as a side to side before and after display. It never changes. I have her image engraved in my mind and associate it with the anxiety of having a metal hook scraping around the inside of my mouth.
The hygienist has pictures of her children on the wall as well. With my head turned towards her, I focus past her head and onto the picture of her little boy on his hands and knees in a grassy field. As he gets older I wonder if he'll feel offended knowing that hundreds of people now associate his picture with cruel dental work. I stare at the picture the whole time, every time I go in there, while scraping sounds rattle in my head with an occasional scrape at the gums. There he is, a cute little brown haired boy in sweatpants, smiling at my pain and anxiety. Just like the murderous Chuckie doll from the movie Child's Play.
Who grows up with the dream of one day becoming a dentist or orthodontist? Do people yearn to dig around in wet slippery mouths, scraping and prying at enamel, full of apologies, spit flying everywhere and learning the language of some one talknig with a fist and a few metal instruments in their mouths? Is this what people become when they realize a life of crime and torture will only send them to prison? I guess it's the only legal way psychopaths can unleash their fury on unfortunate victims.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Truly a Nomad
I look around my house now that I’ve emptied out all the furniture (once again) and realize I truly am a nomad. I’ve lived in this house for 6 months and am already packing up and leaving. Interestingly enough, I’ve got gypsy blood. I’m told I’m part Bohemian. I had to look it up. Basically there was a Bohemia until some one invaded it and all the poor displaced Bohemians became wandering gypsies without a home. So maybe it’s just part of who I am, I’d like to think so anyway.
Looking back on my life, I have had 11 permanent addresses, spent a tiny portion of my childhood living in a tent (for real), had 5 or 6 secondary houses (my dad’s house—I was a split home kid), temporarily lived in 3 government barracks and the supply cache of one engine bay. I’ve laid claim to several friends’ and family members’ houses for extended and sporadic periods of time. I’ve stayed in more hotels than I can count in 4 different countries. Home and comfort has become completely relative. During fire season I live out of what’s called a Red Bag (probably because it’s red), also called a war bag. It’s got everything I could possibly need for 2 weeks without having to do laundry. It isn’t much. Sleeping in a sleeping bag and tent becomes a luxury, and sleeping in the dirt out on the fire line becomes better than no sleep at all.
During the past couple of months I’ve gone from suitcase to suitcase with barely enough time to wash my underwear in between (it can always be done in the sink at a hotel). I just finished loading most of my belongings into storage, still have to pack my bags for Arizona tonight, will get home on Monday and finish all my packing for Redding, then pack for a weekend in San Diego, then come back home to load everything into my jeep for Redding… and head up to my new temporary home in yet another government dormitory.
What’s even more surprising is that there aren’t a whole lot of people who live this way. I certainly know people who are always out and about (or who are technically homeless and jobless and have no idea what country they’re going to be in over the next couple years) but I also know a whole lot of people who stay put. Sometimes I wonder what that’s like. I’m going to miss my mattress the most. I’ve only had it 4 months and I’ve only slept in it maybe a quarter of that time. It’s a pillow top. You wouldn’t believe how comfortable it is.
Tonight I’m sleeping in my sleeping bag in my room with a blanket laid down for padding. Tomorrow night I’ll be sleeping in Arizona, then here on the floor again, then San Diego, then Redding, then who knows where.
Looking back on my life, I have had 11 permanent addresses, spent a tiny portion of my childhood living in a tent (for real), had 5 or 6 secondary houses (my dad’s house—I was a split home kid), temporarily lived in 3 government barracks and the supply cache of one engine bay. I’ve laid claim to several friends’ and family members’ houses for extended and sporadic periods of time. I’ve stayed in more hotels than I can count in 4 different countries. Home and comfort has become completely relative. During fire season I live out of what’s called a Red Bag (probably because it’s red), also called a war bag. It’s got everything I could possibly need for 2 weeks without having to do laundry. It isn’t much. Sleeping in a sleeping bag and tent becomes a luxury, and sleeping in the dirt out on the fire line becomes better than no sleep at all.
During the past couple of months I’ve gone from suitcase to suitcase with barely enough time to wash my underwear in between (it can always be done in the sink at a hotel). I just finished loading most of my belongings into storage, still have to pack my bags for Arizona tonight, will get home on Monday and finish all my packing for Redding, then pack for a weekend in San Diego, then come back home to load everything into my jeep for Redding… and head up to my new temporary home in yet another government dormitory.
What’s even more surprising is that there aren’t a whole lot of people who live this way. I certainly know people who are always out and about (or who are technically homeless and jobless and have no idea what country they’re going to be in over the next couple years) but I also know a whole lot of people who stay put. Sometimes I wonder what that’s like. I’m going to miss my mattress the most. I’ve only had it 4 months and I’ve only slept in it maybe a quarter of that time. It’s a pillow top. You wouldn’t believe how comfortable it is.
Tonight I’m sleeping in my sleeping bag in my room with a blanket laid down for padding. Tomorrow night I’ll be sleeping in Arizona, then here on the floor again, then San Diego, then Redding, then who knows where.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
New Beginnings
While writing this, I'm feeling bad for Debbie who has found herself stuck in Michigan with no job, no home, and apparently no trip to Madagascar. Looking around my living room though I can sympathize with her. On one side of the room is a very large pile of boxes and odds and ends that are going to be on the next trip to storage. On the second side of the room is a pile of bags that need to go to Corey's mom's house for a garage sale. On the third side of the room is bags, boxes, random books, papers, a sleeping bag, my printer and a pair of rollerblades slated to head up to Redding with me. On the fourth side (square room ya know) is me... on a futon that has yet to be disassembled. My kitchen looks fairly clean with the exception of a small pile of random items smack dab in the middle of the floor. Those items are also coming with me.
I'll be leaving for Redding on April 3rd and returning probably some time in October. I will no longer own a permanent home address. A lady and her little girl came to look at my place today and fell in love with it. I think they'll get the place. After they left I got a slight twinge of sadness at having to leave my place for good, but after a long day of running errands, packing and cleaning, I'm over it.
I'm going to miss my delightful new pillow-top mattress, but that may be it. I'll be staying in dorm-style housing (once again) so I'll have all that stuff provided for me.
On another subject, I'd like you all to know that my hair is growing out and I got it pretty much fixed by my real hair stylist. I will never again go astray, and will only get my haircut by the one and only place that has never screwed up my hair. Which means it may be another 6 months before I get my hair cut again, but that's ok.
I'll be leaving for Redding on April 3rd and returning probably some time in October. I will no longer own a permanent home address. A lady and her little girl came to look at my place today and fell in love with it. I think they'll get the place. After they left I got a slight twinge of sadness at having to leave my place for good, but after a long day of running errands, packing and cleaning, I'm over it.
I'm going to miss my delightful new pillow-top mattress, but that may be it. I'll be staying in dorm-style housing (once again) so I'll have all that stuff provided for me.
On another subject, I'd like you all to know that my hair is growing out and I got it pretty much fixed by my real hair stylist. I will never again go astray, and will only get my haircut by the one and only place that has never screwed up my hair. Which means it may be another 6 months before I get my hair cut again, but that's ok.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Writing Exercise #2- Write about a less-than-remarkable aspect of your life.
Today I decided to be a couch potato. Maybe that’s remarkable in itself, but I can see why people get into the habit and can never get out. On the bright side, I was able to find a new running trail I’d like to tackle tomorrow by using the TOPO program on my computer.
My upholstery-bottomed spud-ness was spurred on by a request from the real estate office to provide a time period to show my house today. The agent left a message that there were potential renters last weekend that wanted to see the place, but since I was out of town we scheduled it for this weekend- but apparently everyone was no longer interested. With an overly optimistic view that some one would magically appear and want to see the place, I was asked to be available between 10am and 12pm to show my house.
After cleaning up the place a bit, I settled down with breakfast and my second cup of coffee. I moseyed around on the internet and toured the mountains of my neighborhood by scanning my TOPO maps on my computer. I found interesting trails all over the place! After my mandatory dilly-dallying, I checked in on my online classes to post discussion assignments and study for exams that are due tomorrow (for which I have not yet read the chapters). After noon, with no one in sight, I decided to take a nap on the couch. Ten minutes later I was up and bored (and sleepy). I got another cup of coffee and read my magazine. Figuring I should probably get serious since I had plenty of time on my hands, I read the assigned chapter for one of my classes and got back on the internet to take the exams. I passed with flying colors, and then figured I deserved a hot bath after blogging about its importance.
My magazine had mentioned how sunshine increases the production of serotonin, so upon finding a large spot of sunshine on my bed after taking a bath, I thought it wise to lie in it and increase my spiritual well being. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re probably wrong. No it was not warm enough outside to be out getting “fresh air”. Fresh air around here is quite chilly, and chilly doesn’t really get my serotonin levels pumping. So anyway, I put on my headphones and listened to Celtic meditation music while enhancing my serotonin production.
It wasn’t long before I got bored with that, so I continued reading “Self” whereupon I learned that sniffing rosemary for 5 minutes helps lower cortisol levels in the bloodstream. Cortisol is a chemical that apparently leads to high blood pressure and heart attacks. No one wants that. After sniffing a jar of dried rosemary from my seasoning cabinet, I figured that if smelling the rosemary was so good for me, I should bake some rosemary potatoes to really amp up my new stress busting technique.
Once I had cooked and devoured my share of rosemary potatoes, I realized that me being gone all next week for training meant that I had better eat the 2 avocadoes that were ripening in the crystal fruit bowl my grandmother sent me. So I quickly whipped up some guacamole and ate about half a bowl with some corn tortilla chips. For some strange reason, this led me to eat three mini- reeses peanut butter cups that I got for Christmas.
I sat back down on the couch to do an internet search for Rosemary-Mint Shampoo. I found a few brands but realized I already have 4 sets of shampoo and conditioner and had better use those before buying more. That’s when I decided it would be cool to sit down and write some more, so here I am.
Shelly, my new (ultra-fit, ex-smokejumper) friend just called to see if I’m heading to the Tavern tonight. Neither of us have been there, and it’s the local hangout. Apparently she just made her debut journey to BevMo (she’s not from around here) and made off with some new wine and beer, so she invited me over for a pre-Tavern warm-up. She’s walking to the Tavern from her place (sounds far being as it’s only 10 degrees out) and hinted at me joining in on the madness. Looks like I’ll be getting my fresh air after all. But first I better eat something so I don’t drink on an empty stomach.
My upholstery-bottomed spud-ness was spurred on by a request from the real estate office to provide a time period to show my house today. The agent left a message that there were potential renters last weekend that wanted to see the place, but since I was out of town we scheduled it for this weekend- but apparently everyone was no longer interested. With an overly optimistic view that some one would magically appear and want to see the place, I was asked to be available between 10am and 12pm to show my house.
After cleaning up the place a bit, I settled down with breakfast and my second cup of coffee. I moseyed around on the internet and toured the mountains of my neighborhood by scanning my TOPO maps on my computer. I found interesting trails all over the place! After my mandatory dilly-dallying, I checked in on my online classes to post discussion assignments and study for exams that are due tomorrow (for which I have not yet read the chapters). After noon, with no one in sight, I decided to take a nap on the couch. Ten minutes later I was up and bored (and sleepy). I got another cup of coffee and read my magazine. Figuring I should probably get serious since I had plenty of time on my hands, I read the assigned chapter for one of my classes and got back on the internet to take the exams. I passed with flying colors, and then figured I deserved a hot bath after blogging about its importance.
My magazine had mentioned how sunshine increases the production of serotonin, so upon finding a large spot of sunshine on my bed after taking a bath, I thought it wise to lie in it and increase my spiritual well being. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re probably wrong. No it was not warm enough outside to be out getting “fresh air”. Fresh air around here is quite chilly, and chilly doesn’t really get my serotonin levels pumping. So anyway, I put on my headphones and listened to Celtic meditation music while enhancing my serotonin production.
It wasn’t long before I got bored with that, so I continued reading “Self” whereupon I learned that sniffing rosemary for 5 minutes helps lower cortisol levels in the bloodstream. Cortisol is a chemical that apparently leads to high blood pressure and heart attacks. No one wants that. After sniffing a jar of dried rosemary from my seasoning cabinet, I figured that if smelling the rosemary was so good for me, I should bake some rosemary potatoes to really amp up my new stress busting technique.
Once I had cooked and devoured my share of rosemary potatoes, I realized that me being gone all next week for training meant that I had better eat the 2 avocadoes that were ripening in the crystal fruit bowl my grandmother sent me. So I quickly whipped up some guacamole and ate about half a bowl with some corn tortilla chips. For some strange reason, this led me to eat three mini- reeses peanut butter cups that I got for Christmas.
I sat back down on the couch to do an internet search for Rosemary-Mint Shampoo. I found a few brands but realized I already have 4 sets of shampoo and conditioner and had better use those before buying more. That’s when I decided it would be cool to sit down and write some more, so here I am.
Shelly, my new (ultra-fit, ex-smokejumper) friend just called to see if I’m heading to the Tavern tonight. Neither of us have been there, and it’s the local hangout. Apparently she just made her debut journey to BevMo (she’s not from around here) and made off with some new wine and beer, so she invited me over for a pre-Tavern warm-up. She’s walking to the Tavern from her place (sounds far being as it’s only 10 degrees out) and hinted at me joining in on the madness. Looks like I’ll be getting my fresh air after all. But first I better eat something so I don’t drink on an empty stomach.
The Bullet-Proof Spirit
Reading “Self” magazine, I came across an article for a few books to inspire happiness. I haven’t gotten any of them yet, but the magazine stuck a quick bit next to the description of the book about how to make it work for you. One suggestion states: “Jot down the three most devastating failures or losses you’ve experienced. Next to each, list the corresponding lessons, wisdom and insights you’ve gained from surviving them.” Actually, three were hard to come up with, until I remembered that this could have been at any point in my life, not just now. It’s funny how when we truly get over a loss or failure, we really don’t consider it part of our lives anymore, but it shapes us regardless.
Loss: My Dad. Lessons/wisdom/insights: Life is precious and relationships are fragile. Traumatic events can happen at any time in my life, and will. Building myself to be strong in my everyday life will help me to be strong for these unseen events. I learned that my true friends and family will drop everything and be there for me when I truly need them, and I’m never alone. Life is too short to spend any amount of time being unhappy. Despite tragic events, my life is exactly what I choose it to be. While things may happen to me outside my control, I control what I do about them, how I react to them and how I want my life to grow. Always take time to nourish the soul. And lastly, everyone is human.
Failure: Current job position. Lessons/wisdom/insights: Blind leaps are just that: don’t expect a bowl of cherries from jumping into an unknown situation. Results from my actions can be downright hideous, but I never know until I give it a try. Great friendships can be found absolutely anywhere. I cannot live in cold snowy climates. I love the city. I’m strong/brave enough to venture off on my own into unknown territory. I think I need to be a Hotshot. When I trip or fall in life (or down the stairs) it’s just another marker to laugh at or reminisce about later in life.
Loss: A love. Lessons/wisdom/insights: Hindsight truly is 20/20. Sometimes following my gut feeling is smarter than following my heart. No one has the right to disrespect me. I’m so much better off on my own than with some one who isn’t right for me. Never leave a freshly drawn bath to attend to “more important matters”: more important matters can wait, soothing my soul cannot. And clarity can come from that same hot bath: taking time to pause can prevent further disasters.
Loss: My Dad. Lessons/wisdom/insights: Life is precious and relationships are fragile. Traumatic events can happen at any time in my life, and will. Building myself to be strong in my everyday life will help me to be strong for these unseen events. I learned that my true friends and family will drop everything and be there for me when I truly need them, and I’m never alone. Life is too short to spend any amount of time being unhappy. Despite tragic events, my life is exactly what I choose it to be. While things may happen to me outside my control, I control what I do about them, how I react to them and how I want my life to grow. Always take time to nourish the soul. And lastly, everyone is human.
Failure: Current job position. Lessons/wisdom/insights: Blind leaps are just that: don’t expect a bowl of cherries from jumping into an unknown situation. Results from my actions can be downright hideous, but I never know until I give it a try. Great friendships can be found absolutely anywhere. I cannot live in cold snowy climates. I love the city. I’m strong/brave enough to venture off on my own into unknown territory. I think I need to be a Hotshot. When I trip or fall in life (or down the stairs) it’s just another marker to laugh at or reminisce about later in life.
Loss: A love. Lessons/wisdom/insights: Hindsight truly is 20/20. Sometimes following my gut feeling is smarter than following my heart. No one has the right to disrespect me. I’m so much better off on my own than with some one who isn’t right for me. Never leave a freshly drawn bath to attend to “more important matters”: more important matters can wait, soothing my soul cannot. And clarity can come from that same hot bath: taking time to pause can prevent further disasters.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Update on my tax situation
After going through my tax documents from 2007, it turns out I do indeed owe the IRS money. Along with an apology, I am mailing out to them their check for $4. I understand there may be penalties and interest added to this $4, but I'll send them this check and let them decide whether or not they need to collect further.
It also turns out I owe the state $6. Do you have any idea how much they owe me? And how much of that I'll ever see? But I'll be an adult about this, I'll send them their $6. Who knows, maybe it'll contribute to a rebound in California's economy.
It also turns out I owe the state $6. Do you have any idea how much they owe me? And how much of that I'll ever see? But I'll be an adult about this, I'll send them their $6. Who knows, maybe it'll contribute to a rebound in California's economy.
The @#%!! IRS
I was about to start off ranting about the IRS (I'm sure many of you have plenty to say about this fantastically professional organization), but this one is actually my fault. However, that doesn't change how much I dislike federal agencies (yeah, I know, I work for a federal agency.... and have plenty to say about that one too). Here's the deal. I'm new to having investments. Having investments is a great thing (until recently), except that it gives the government more money to take from you. Lovely. Well last year when 2007 taxes were due the government was revamping the reporting process for investments. Which in turn caused me to get several tax documents on my investment accounts. So I filed as soon as I thought I had all of them (Mid-February?). Turns out I didn't have all of them. Being new to the whole investment thing, I didn't realize how the government calculates how much you are taxed on investments. So I didn't see the point of amending my 2007 tax return for a second time (didn't realize I was getting the documents the first time).
Big mistake. Always send in your amendments, even if it seems like a very little deal. I've just been informed by the IRS that I owe them $8,000. Yeah, you read that right. It's like $6,500 with $1,500 in interest and penalty fees. After my heart attack (the IRS will be receiving a bill for my required spa treatment as well), I realized where my mistake was. This year I also had to amend my returns due to a form I received after thinking I had received them all. It appeared I made $40,000 more than I really did. That freaked me out, until I inputed it into my tax software and found out it actually increased my refund by $500. So I sent my amendment in and am awaiting the additional check from the IRS (I'm well aware I will never receive the money the state owes me--go wonderful CA).
So here's where the IRS tees me off: when I fix my 2007 tax return, I will no doubt BE OWED a couple bucks (hopefully), but doesn't the IRS also owe me the interest and penalties of $1,500? See what I'm getting at here? We all talk about how great our country is, but do we take into account how much federal and state government agencies like to rip us off? Try collecting interest on your CA state tax refund that you'll never get! Same thing with the federal agency I work for: if I mess up on my paperwork and get overpayed even the slightest amount-boy will they go after it. But when they mess up and owe me money, they don't want to pay up!
We should all stage an uprising and overthrow the government. I think I actually signed a contract when I started working for the federal government that I wouldn't do that, so you guys will have to get the ball rolling for me.
Ok, I do realize that had I amended the return right away this never would have happened...
Big mistake. Always send in your amendments, even if it seems like a very little deal. I've just been informed by the IRS that I owe them $8,000. Yeah, you read that right. It's like $6,500 with $1,500 in interest and penalty fees. After my heart attack (the IRS will be receiving a bill for my required spa treatment as well), I realized where my mistake was. This year I also had to amend my returns due to a form I received after thinking I had received them all. It appeared I made $40,000 more than I really did. That freaked me out, until I inputed it into my tax software and found out it actually increased my refund by $500. So I sent my amendment in and am awaiting the additional check from the IRS (I'm well aware I will never receive the money the state owes me--go wonderful CA).
So here's where the IRS tees me off: when I fix my 2007 tax return, I will no doubt BE OWED a couple bucks (hopefully), but doesn't the IRS also owe me the interest and penalties of $1,500? See what I'm getting at here? We all talk about how great our country is, but do we take into account how much federal and state government agencies like to rip us off? Try collecting interest on your CA state tax refund that you'll never get! Same thing with the federal agency I work for: if I mess up on my paperwork and get overpayed even the slightest amount-boy will they go after it. But when they mess up and owe me money, they don't want to pay up!
We should all stage an uprising and overthrow the government. I think I actually signed a contract when I started working for the federal government that I wouldn't do that, so you guys will have to get the ball rolling for me.
Ok, I do realize that had I amended the return right away this never would have happened...
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