Calculus has me laying in a fetal position on my living room floor that is covered with weeks worth of my hair sheddings since I've been too busy studying to accomplish anything else. I'm beginning to have regular nightmares about being unable to find the derivatives of an equation. Last night after failing to differentiate an equation, I missed my 4:15 pm red-eye flight to Phoenix that may actually have been a flight to Las Vegas with a rental car into Phoenix. Why would it take over 8 hours to fly from San Jose to Phoenix? I don't know, I missed that flight.
I thought having a glass of wine would allow me to relax enough to take on implicit differentiation, but to my frustration, it did not. I attempted logarithmic differentiation. Nope. I didn't even want to think about hyperbolic functions. I gave min/max values a try. I downed a glass of wine and I'm back on the floor again.
I've got nine more homework assignments to complete in 6 days and considering that my average completion per day is -3 (yes, that is negative 3), I'm stressed and in trouble.
I did find that if I go for a run in the morning, I'm more capable of understanding and completing the assignments than if I don't. The only problem is that I'm coming back from injury and unable to run everyday. Apparently nothing else does it for me. Not weight lifting, swimming, other cardio, coffee, chocolate or wine.
Did I mention this is a 5 week class? I'm guessing Calculus is fairly difficult to being with, let alone cramming it all into 5 weeks. My final is next Thursday, after which I will quickly leave class and attempt not to miss my flight to Michigan for my friend's wedding. Yes, this is where the nightmares come from.
It has been nothing but calculus and coffee for 4 weeks now. Sometimes upwards of 8 hours a day trying to cram advanced mathematical concepts into a foggy brain. I'm pretty sure I'm teetering on the edge between an A and a B right now but I feel the looming abyss of an F dragging me into a black hole of despair.
As I lay on my filthy carpet, I'm on the verge of tears and just want to go for a run. But I ran yesterday and my IT band demands today off. My next run wasn't supposed to be until Sunday but apparently I'm running tomorrow. Otherwise I may not survive.
